Saturday, January 21, 2006

Hidden Surprise Game

A fun game for couples. Hide several sex toys around the house and give your partner written clues about how to find them. When your partner finds one, they get to “have their way” with you but only using the toy. You’ll discover what kinds of touch your partner likes and possibly a few new erogenous zones.

Possible Ingredients:
• Vibrator
• Glass dildo--They can be heated or cooled for additional sensations and many people enjoy the smooth, rigid feel of glass.
• Edible body paint or whipped topping
• Massage oil
• Sexual lubricant
• Dildo
• Anal toys

Thursday, January 19, 2006

SEXUAL LINES FROM STAR WARS?

Actual lines from the original Star Wars movie:

"Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
"Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
"Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
"You've got something jammed in here real good."
"Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?"
"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
"Sorry about the mess..."
"Look at the size of that thing!"
"Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
"She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts,kid."

ADULT JOKES for your consumption

WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM A FORTUNETELLER

A man visited a fortuneteller and sat down in front of her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children," she said.
"That's what you think," the man replied. "I'm the father of three children."
The fortuneteller smiled and said, "That's what YOU think."


YOUR BANKER KNOWS
Why do male bankers make better lovers?
Because they know that there is a substantial penalty for early withdrawal.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

When In Rome...

ROME (Reuters) - Thinking of buying a TV for the bedroom? Think again -- it could ruin your sex life.

A study by an Italian sexologist has found that couples who have a TV set in their bedroom have sex half as often as those who don't.

"If there's no television in the bedroom, the frequency (of sexual intercourse) doubles," said Serenella Salomoni whose team of psychologists questioned 523 Italian couples to see what effect television had on their sex lives.

On average, Italians who live without TV in the bedroom have sex twice a week, or eight times a month. This drops to an average of four times a month for those with a TV, the study found.

For the over-50s the effect is even more marked, with the average of seven couplings a month falling to just 1.5 times.

The study found certain programmes are far more likely to impede passion than others. Violent films will put a stop to sexual relations for half of all couples, while reality shows stem passion for a third of couples.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Sex v Relationship: Which wins?

It’s that age old question, which would you choose, great sex, or an amazing relationship? Is it worth staying in a poor relationship if the sex is great? Or if the relationship is amazing, can sex be put on the backburner?

To mark Sam van Rood joining as the new Date Doctor for www.makefriendsonline.com, an online survey of members was carried out to discover what which people really prefer, sex or relationships.

‘This is one of those questions everyone seems split over, sex v relationship – so we decided to find out the answer!” said van Rood.

The survey found that the British overwhelmingly prefer a great relationship over amazing sex. 71% of the 25,000 responses stated they would prefer OK sex with an amazing relationship, compared to 29% who would prefer great sex.

Men and women split firmly along gender lines with 80% of women and 64% of men saying that they would choose an amazing relationship over amazing sex.

Britain’s most sexually demanding region is the Isle of Man, where 52.94% of those surveyed would prefer great sex and an OK relationship.

Gloucestershire, proved to most committed to great relationships, with a whopping 83.08% of those polled saying an amazing relationship is most important.

Aries, Leo, Libra and Scorpios were the most frisky star signs, while Aquarius and Taurus were most committed to relationships.

Not surprisingly, those with higher incomes and education placed sex as a higher priority, with 40.54% in the High Range compared to 24.58% Low range.

It seems that despite all the emphasis that seems to be put on sex, at heart people still want a amazing relationship and may be willing to look the other way if the sex is a bit iffy’ said Sam.

Have amazing sex and an OK relationship? 29.21%
Have OK sex and an amazing relationship? 70.79%

Sam van Rood is a dating doctor who works for some of London’s leading single agencies, has featured in the Mirror, Sun, Express, Mail, Star, Glamour, More, on Trisha, BBC3, ‘What women really want’ and is currently filming the series ‘How to find a Husband’.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

WHY IT SUCKS BEING A PENIS

From the halls of attempted humor, here are our top 10 reasons it's tough being a penis. (For those not affended by sex jokes).

1. You've got a hole in your head.
2. Your master strangles you all the time.
3. Your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body.
4. You shrink in cold water.
5. You never get a haircut.
6. You always hang around with 2 nuts.
7. Your closest neighbor is an asshole.
8. Your best friend is a pussy.
9. Your scalp gets cut off if you're Jewish.
10. Every time you get excited, you throw up.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Sex Cooking Lesson for Men

Most women respond to a gradual build-up of sexual tension—lots of kissing, gentle touching, caressing, and affection in general—before receiving any direct sexual touch to her genitals. A woman’s entire body is an erogenous zone, from her hair, scalp, neck and face all the way down to her ankles, feet and toes and tender touching turns-on a woman.

One effective technique is barely touching her as you run your fingers across her back, legs, stomach, buttocks and other sensitive areas. For women, it’s the ‘tease’ that generally leads to arousal—although there are certainly women who like a more aggressive, forceful touch. Be attentive and see how she responds to different types of touch.

Almost every woman wants a man to spend more time stimulating her breasts. Women tend to like extremely gentle caressing, licking and sucking of their breasts. Another way to stimulate a woman is to wet her nipples with your tongue then very lightly blow on them.

Ingredients:
• Her entire body and your tender touch

Men are visual creatures. They like to see a woman during sex; so be sure to include some soft lights, candles or daylight during lovemaking. Men are turned on by seeing—and touching—your face, breasts, legs, buttocks and genitals.

Being visual, most men also enjoy seeing you in lingerie, stockings, heels or other ‘gift wrapping.’ In addition, men enjoy a woman’s gentle touch on the back, chest, thighs and genitals while you make love together.

Lance Russell, author of "Recipes for Better Sex: 75 Delicious Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life"

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

MORE REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX

Sex Humor
Almost Dirty Jokes


Many people crave chocolate more than sex. Below are some of the reasons:

  1. You can GET chocolate.
  2. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
  3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
  4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
  5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
  6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
  7. If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
  8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
  9. You can have chocolate on top of you workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
  10. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
  11. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
  12. With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
  13. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
  14. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
  15. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
  16. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
  17. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
  18. With chocolate size doesn't matter.

Monday, January 02, 2006

The Sex Life of Women Improves with Age

Better Sex Over The Hill
(Excerpts from article by MEGAN MCCHESNEY from the Toronto)

A paper recently published in The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality cites research showing younger single women "were less likely than older single women to report orgasm during sexual activity."

A survey by the U.K.-based Health Plus magazine found 77 per cent of female respondents over 40 enjoy sex more in their 40s than in their 20s. In total, 69 per cent said they felt more sexually adventurous and 45 per cent said they had a greater sexual appetite.

Melanie, 23, and her girlfriends like having a good time. They like going to bars and clubs, meeting guys, and — if the mood strikes — sleeping with said guys. It's precisely the care-free and adventurous sex life we're led to believe they have.

But when it comes down to it, are they enjoying sex? "A lot of girls don't," says Melanie. "I think a lot of girls do what the guys want. They're self-conscious. They don't always enjoy it, but they do it anyway."

Melanie and her friends have the impression that sex is a chore not a pleasure for middle-aged women.

"I listen to older women talk about sex, and I think, especially if they're married, it becomes boring. It's not something they enjoy, but they do it for their husbands."

Maggie just turned 25, and has already noticed things starting to improve. "It's so much more of a given that a guy in his early 20s will be more in tune with his body (not hers)," she says. "At the time, you think the sex is fun. It doesn't suck, but it's not fantastic. You hear older women talk about orgasms and how liberating they are and wonder why you don't feel that way."

Researchers dating back to Kinsey confirm that a woman's sex life shows no decline at middle age. Not having young children in the house, or a diminished fear of pregnancy, could lead to a more satisfying sex life.

"Older women have developed their sensitivity and have far more knowledge and awareness," says Annie Sprinkles. "They're much more advanced and powerful sexually. Perhaps society puts down the vintage Venus because she is so much more sexually powerful: a beautiful, savvy queen."

The idea that sex is largely for the young, the firm and the beautiful is one that is bought and sold regularly in our youth-obsessed culture.

Faces might wrinkle and body parts might sag, but it's nice to know that, especially for women, a sex life is one thing that really does get better with age.