Have you ever thought to yourself, "My sex life would be so much
better if my partner was a just little more/less _________"? Yes, you
have. It's happened. Human beings are all unique, with all sorts of
physical and psychological variations that aren't always ideal for the
ultimate sex life. Don't despair, however! Technology has brought us
leaps and bounds forward in the search for sexual pleasure. Sex toys
are no longer limited to cheap, plastic, phallic-shaped things. There
is a wide variety of fun, useful products designed to improve our
personal, loving sex lives and strengthen our relationships. So if
the man of your dreams just happens to be a little under par in the
size department, or you find yourself wanting more than he can give,
it doesn't mean you can't have ultimately satisfying sex. Read on…
Problem 1: "He's too small"
There are a few solutions to this problem, if indeed this is a problem
at all. Many men who are below average size-wise have learned to use
other parts of their body to their partner's grateful benefit. But if
his little guy just isn't satisfying you, there are quite a few things
to try. First, try different positions: let him take you from behind
while you squeeze your legs together, or lie on your back with your
knees at your chest and your feet over his shoulders. These positions
allow deeper penetration, tighten your canal and increase sensation
for both of you. You can also have him try a penis enhancer. These
come in all sizes and shapes to lengthen, thicken, support, and
satisfy whatever need you both may have. Third, work your PC muscles.
A good set of Smartballs, an updated version of Ben-Wa balls, will
strengthen and tighten your internal muscles. With your vaginal
muscles primed and toned, you'll be amazed at how much more you'll
feel during sex.
Problem 2: "He's too big"
Sorry to disillusion you, guys, but bigger isn't always better. A
huge member doesn't always guarantee pleasure; it can often cause pain
for women with tight or short vaginal canals. The best solution to
this problem is lots of foreplay! Spend lots of time getting her
excited using your hands or mouth. When she's ready, slather on a
healthy dollop of lubricant and ease in slowly. Silicone-based lubes
tend to work best for easing the friction of a tight fit. If he's
really long, try a set of penis donuts. These fit tightly at the base
of the penis so he'll still receive stimulation, but they're wide
enough keep him from going further in than she's comfortable with.
Some positions to try: her on top, so she's in complete control of
penetration and speed. Side-by-side also limits how deeply he can
penetrate.
Problem 3: "He wants it all the time"
If your partner is always after you for sex, and you're never "in the
mood," you're setting yourself up for some serious long-term
relationship problems. Try not to think of this as his problem; there
are a number of solutions you can enact that can directly affect you.
Some things to try:
*Make sure you're keeping a healthy sleep schedule – Not enough sleep
leads to a reduction in testosterone, the hormone that gives you a
healthy libido.
*Take active responsibility for your sex drive – Figure out what turns
you on, don't leave it to your partner to guess. When you pinpoint
what gets you in the mood, do it often, share it with your partner,
whatever it takes to enjoy yourself.
*Identify and work out issues with your body image – The better you
feel about your body, the more likely you are to enjoy sex. This may
require a getting a gym membership or scheduling counseling.
*Initiate sex, even if you're not in the mood – By taking the reigns,
you take control of the situation, which can be a major turn-on for
you. You don't even have to go all the way. Oral sex or even manual
stimulation will make your partner equally grateful, and can rev up
your own lagging libido.
*Fantasize – Let your body and mind get in the mood without the
pressure of having to perform or please someone else. Find a fun
vibrator or other toy help you enjoy your alone time. The more you
exercise your libido, the healthier it'll become.
Problem 4: "He doesn't want it as much as I do"
Biology has set us up for a cruel trick: as we age, a woman's sex
drive goes up while a man's libido starts to fall behind. While many
women fear this is because they have become less appealing to their
partners, in most cases, this couldn't be further from the truth.
Here are some things you can do to help yourself out:
*Masturbate – When you need to take the edge off, close the door, turn
on some music, and spend some quality time with your favorite rabbit
vibrator.
*Make sure it's sex you're after – Identify whether you're actually
craving sex, or if you're looking for love, intimacy, affection, or a
stress-reducer. There are other ways of receiving these without
depending on sex.
*Know your partner's appetites – Learn what turns him on and off.
Explore all the options of the things they enjoy, broaden your
repertoire of sexual knowledge, and be sure to mix it up. A simple
sex swing can make your sex lives seem brand new again.
*Utilize the quickie – Sex doesn't always have to be an hour-long
excursion. Use lots of lubricant and make the most of whatever time
you have.
Take an active role in improving your sexual happiness, and you'll
find that you both benefit. Life changes over time, so be sure to
communicate, work through whatever issues you may have together, and
don't be afraid to try new things. Satisfaction comes to those who
work at it!
