Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The Five Secrets to a Great Relationship

1. It's important to find a man who works around the house, occasionally cooks and cleans and who has a job.
2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man who is dependable and doesn't lie.
4. It is important to find a man who's good in bed and who loves to have sex with you.
5. It is important that these four men never meet.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

5 Sex Positions for Female Orgasm

Here are some sex positions with the woman in control. Often these positions help allow the woman to achieve orgasm.

  1. The Reverse Missionary - The woman straddles on top of the man facing his feet. An advantage to this position is the woman can lean forward and rub her clitoris against the man's pelvus to help her reach orgasm.
  2. Chair Straddle - The man sits in a chair and the woman straddles over his lap facing him. She controls the speed and depth of the penetration.
  3. Oral Squat - The man lays on his back, the woman squats over his mouth for oral stimulation. This sexual position holds two advantages for oral sex. Most men are extremely excited with the woman's genitalia exposed to them in this position. For the woman, in addition to the oral stimulation, she can grind her pelvus against the man's mouth and chin.
  4. Reclining Opposite - The man lays on his back, the woman kneels over his penis facing him but then reclines backward resting on her arms for support. This position is great for G-Spot stimulation with the man's penis stroking the upper wall inside the vagina. The woman is the primary one in control of the angle, depth and speed of the penetration.
  5. Reverse Cowgirl Sex Position - The man lays on his back, the woman straddles him facing the opposite direction. This allows the woman to experience very deep and controlled penetration.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Naked Traveler Ending UK Walk

Naked rambler Stephen Gough is close to completing his second marathon walk across Britain.

Gough, 46, a former Royal Marine, was barely 20 miles short of John O'Groats in the Highlands on Sunday.

Gough, from Eastleigh, Hants, and his partner, hairdresser Melanie Roberts, 34, of Bournemouth, have attracted many curious glances on their 874-mile trek and were arrested twice in the last week alone.

They were picked up near Dingwall last Sunday by Northern Constabulary after an outraged Kirk minister spotted them and complained.

The couple were released but on Monday police swooped again as they neared Dornoch Bridge in the Highlands and took them to Wick police station. Again charges were dropped, said Gough.

Gough, who has two children from a past relationship, told the Scottish Press Association: "People have been a lot more friendly this time round, although sometimes we get some comments.

"They have been welcoming us into their homes, the hospitality has been really great. Walking in this cold windy weather, though, has been really tough."

And he has not ruled out doing another marathon walk, saying: "As far as doing it again goes, I never say never."

When asked if there were plans to arrest Gough on the final leg of his walk, a spokesman for Northern Constabulary said: "If there is a complaint against the person police will act accordingly."

The Milk Maid Sex Position

With this technique, the woman sits, squats or kneels straddled over the man, who is lying down flat.

Relax your vaginal muscles and feel his penis enter you deeply, then contract your vaginal muscles and slowly pull up on his penis—like the motion to milk a cow’s udder. Many couples rave about this intimate technique.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

FUNNY NAMES FROM ACTUAL FILES OF THE CHICAGO POLICE DEPARTMENT

Remember, you could always have a worse name and here is proof:
Champaigne, age 2
Chardonay, age 1
Chablea, age 3 months (All of these children were abandoned by their mother)
Homicide Byrons
Philander Rodman, Dennis Rodman's, of basketball fame, father. Philander has 27 children. He currently is living with 2 wives and 15 children in the Philippines
Weedo Dingledein Dasho
Zhiavago Rambo - Someone’s been watching too many movies

Doctors in Chicago Police Reports:
Dr. Kneebone, Chiropractor
Dr. Waters, Urologist
Dr. Bonebreaker
Dr. Mangle, Chiropractor
Dr. Carver, Forensic Pathologist
Dr. Hyman, Gynecologist
Dr. Gene Poole

Monday, February 13, 2006

National Geographic Report on Love

In time for Valentine's day, National Geographic Channel's "Naked Science" series on Monday will reveal the ever illusive reasons why humans choose the mates they do.

National Geographic reports we are pushed around by the array of chemicals in our bodies and brains that have evolved over millions of years. That's what's doing a lot of the deciding when we choose mates.

National Geographic researchers tell us that we are driven not just to reproduce but to try to preserve our own particular genes and our bodies help that drive with a pack of instinctive and hormonal reactions. Not surprisingly, Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher series of studies and found that men react to visual stimuli more than women.

She and other researchers also found that men most generally respond with desire to women with a waist-to-hips size ratio of seven-to-10, meaning, for example, that a woman with a 23 1/2-inch waistline and 35-inch hips would seem to be a good proportion, or a 28-inch waist would be attractive with 40-inch hips. The reason: it indicates easier pregnancies and birth.

"Scientists theorize that men are disproportionately attracted to women whose features indicate healthy hormonal levels," the National Geographic show says, "because that offers the promise of more easily reproducing healthy children."

Behavior patterns are hugely important to women when choosing mates, says Fisher, who did MRI studies of brain activity in people who are in love.

She says women's brains get more activity in the memory areas than men because women are mapping men's behavior. It also would explain all the phone chatter and re-telling among women friends about what their men did and did not do on the last date, she says. "Women need to create a memory trail," Fisher says.

Another factor in male/female response is fear and anxiety which heighten feelings of attraction and lust. That's why roller coasters or, even better, scary movies, are such good early dates.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Top 10 New Condom Brands - Adult Humor

1. Nike Condoms: Just do it.
2. Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
3.Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
4. California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
5. Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
6. Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
7. Campbells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.
8. AT&T condom: Reach out and touch someone.
9. MCI: for friends and family
10. Maxwell House: Good to the last drop!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Top 5 New Sex Toys for 2005




Waterproof 7 Remote Control Vibrator The Waterproof 7 Function Remote Control Vibrator Egg is an amazing value in remote control vibes. It is waterproof for showers, pool or jacuzzi play. Enjoy powerful vibrations without having to worry about wires or cords getting in the way. With a generous 15 foot remote control range, your lover can tease you from afar! The next generation of remote-controlled egg is smaller & softer to the touch and offers seven vibration functions at the touch of a button. Enjoy pulsating, escalating, soft or strong vibration settings.





Glass Dildos from Pleasure Toys 25 Glass sex toys with unique textures and designs. They have some truely stunning designs. All Pleasure Toys glass dildos are made from medical grade, borosilicate rolled glass. This extremely durable material is non-toxic and can easily go from the dishwasher to the freezer without fear of damaging the glass in any way.





Internet Enabled Rabbit Vibrator is the world's first sex toy that allows you to watch and control your partner over the Internet—perfect for long distance relationships. Now you can drive her wild as you watch and stimulator her from a control panel. The Internet Enabled Virtual Sex Rabbit Vibrator takes cybersex to the next level.





Madame Butterfly Vibrator Sex Pillow A Sybian Style Sex Furniture, the Madame Butterfly 2 is the next generation in sex furniture. This inflatable sex pillow can support up to 300 pounds and includes a multi-speed waterproof egg with its own remote control.





Virtual Reality Sex MachineThe Virtual Sex Stroker is the most amazing male masturbator that we've ever seen! It's a cybersex virtual reality sex machine. This USB Cybersex Stroker powered toy allows you to have virtual sex online with Naughty Nurse Nicci.

The Virtual Sex Stroker and software lets you enjoy cybersex like its never been experienced before, and it's so easy! Your virtual reality sex machine uses Plug and Play technology, making it very user-friendly. Even the most novice computer user will have it up and running in only minutes for exciting cybersex!

Sex Survey Reveals Sex Toy Tastes

A recent survey undertaken by PleasureMeNow.com reveals peoples favorite toys in the bedroom. The research also found many Valentine’s may receive a sex toy wrapped in red this Valentine’s Day.

The survey revealed 74% of both women and men would “Love” to receive a sex toy as a gift. Another 26% thought it sounded fun, and no one in the survey found the idea objectionable.

The survey established of those participating in the survey 24% already owned 1 or 2 toys, 56% owned 3-6, 11% owned “Gobs” of toys and 9% don’t currently own a sex toy.

Regarding the question “What is your favorite sex toy?” respondents had a fill-in-the-blank response, not a multiple-choice answer. They wrote in the following choices:
17% Rabbit Vibrator
11% Glass Dildo
10% Vibrator (Non-Specified Type)
8% Love all sex toys
7% Sex Swing
7% Strap On Dildo
6% Bullet Vibrator
5% Dildo
4% Cock Ring & Vibrating Cock Ring
4% Anal plug or bead
3% Cyberskin Sex Toy
20% other toys or none yet

“We were surprised by several of the results,” said Ron Jacks partner at PleasureMeNow.com. “One result that amazed us, even though our survey was taken on our adult toy website, was that everyone found receiving a sex toy as an appealing gift. Another result that raised several eyebrows here was how many straight men indicated their favorite sex toy was not for use on themselves but rather for use on the women in their life. Of the total men surveyed, 16% indicated their favorite toy was using a vibrator on their significant other with another 7% suggesting a glass dildo.”

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Eva Longoria Gives Vibrators As Birthday Gifts

Eva Longoria recently told reports that she gives all her girlfriends a vibrator on their birthday. The 'Desperate Housewives' star gives the electronic aids to her friends to help them discover themselves sexually.

In an interview with Rolling Stone magazine she was asked, "What is best sex you had all year?"

"Probably with my vibrator," Longoria replied. "I own two. I have the rabbit one, and I give that as a gift all the time to other girls for a birthday or the like. It's the best gift to give: an orgasm."

Considered one sexiest women in Hollywood, Longoria, who plays Gabrielle Solis on the hit 'Desperate Housewives', told Cosmopolitan Magazine:

"After I spoke openly about vibrators I literally got boxes and boxes of free sex toys sent to me. So I was constantly giving them away ... Even before that I'd give them to girlfriends for their birthdays and they'd be so excited."

She contends that learning what sexually pleases you on your own leads to a better sex life with your husband or boyfriend.

She added, "You get better sex when you know your own body. How can you expect a man to know your body when you don't know what pleases you?"

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Sex News on the Humorous Side

The Perfect Valentine's Gift...For Your Pet!

A Love Motel exclusively for pets has opened in Brazil. The Pet Love motel, in Sao Paulo, offers decorated rooms for pets to mate. The motel rooms are decorated in the same way as love motels for humans, with satin sheets, ceiling mirrors and lots of cushions. A Pet Love spokesperson said: "Pets have needs and they also want some excitement."

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If He Had Only Had a Valentine...
A German man pretended his car had broken down to con local residents into letting him use their phones. They thought he was calling a tow truck when he was actually calling premium sex lines for up to 20 minutes at a time.
At least four women have complained to police. One victim told police: "It was raining and I felt bad that his car had broken down. After 15 minutes he was still on the phone; when I went to look he was red in the face and was obviously excited about something."

She added the man then hung up, ran out of her house and sped away in his car. "When I pressed redial someone called Jasmine asked what she could do for me and on my next phone bill I found 40 pounds charge for the call."