Stupid Sex Jokes

Smile, it's stupid sex jokes

Q. Why does a bride smile when she's walking down the aisle?
A. She knows she's given her last blow job.

Q. Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
A. Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

Q. Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
A. Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Q. What is the difference between "Oooh!" and "Aaah!"?
A. About three inches.

Q. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
A. Fur traders.

Q. What did Adam say to Eve?
A. Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!

Q. What do women and police cars have in common?
A. They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

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Adult Humor - Sex Jokes

Excuses You May Hear If You Catch Her Giving Oral To The Plumber

1. He passed out, I'm giving him mouth-to-penis resuscitation.
   
2. His plumbers helper broke.
   
3. The sight of his butt crack just drove me wild.
   
4. I slipped and fell on it.
   
5. He offered us a discount if I helped him clean out the pipes.
   
6. I was having an epileptic seizure, and he didn't want me to swallow my tongue.
   
7. You told me not to blow any 'money' on a plumber.
   
8. He asked me to help him uncoil his snake.
   
9. He said he couldn't finish the job without "workmen's compensation."
   
10. I was following the direction of that porn video you always want me to watch.
    
11. He didn't want to screw me without a rubber.
    

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